


Good friends (don't) kiss

by chenziee



Series: Good friends (don't) kiss [1]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Ace!Luffy, Canon Compliant, Comedy, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Luffy Being Luffy, Luffy doesn't know what feelings are, M/M, Minor Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji, especially Nami and Law, everybody's suffering, gray aro!luffy, kind of, you try to pry the headcanon that luffy is grey-aro-ace from my cold dead hands, you'll fail anyway but you can try
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:21:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26360326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chenziee/pseuds/chenziee
Summary: When Nami was watching the relationship between Luffy and Trafalgar Law develop, she really didn't count on having to be the one to explain to Luffy that no, kissing and holding hands really isn't what "friends" usually do.It was going to be one long afternoon.
Relationships: Monkey D. Luffy/Trafalgar D. Water Law
Series: Good friends (don't) kiss [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2092182
Comments: 21
Kudos: 456





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文-普通话 國語 available: [Good friends (don't) kiss](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26406250) by [coldvoice](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldvoice/pseuds/coldvoice)



Thinking back, Nami had to say that watching Luffy interact with Trafalgar Law was funny at first. The way they were within 5 feet of each other at all times, with Luffy always doing his best to make Torao laugh, was just cute. And the way Law looked like he was constantly suffering because of Luffy’s antics only to end up laughing or at least smiling in the end anyway was almost heartwarming; it was like watching the mean Surgeon of Death melt before her very eyes. With Luffy next to him, he was losing that guarded demeanor bit by bit and actually letting himself have fun. He certainly looked like he needed it.

But when she caught them hiding in the far back of the Sunny a few weeks later, Law looking absentmindedly out at the ocean while Luffy was sleeping peacefully with his head on Law’s shoulder, their hands tightly intertwined and resting on Luffy’s knee, it stopped being funny. Instead, Nami had to stop herself from squealing as she thought 'Finally!' The sight was too sweet and she couldn’t believe those two lovesick idiots actually managed to communicate well enough for 5 minutes to figure out what was happening between them.

And then it stopped being adorable as well when she was hit by the harsh reality.

That reality being that Luffy was, actually, an idiot. 

Even if Law just shrugged it off and told her he didn’t want to deal with it and that he would just go along with Luffy’s claim of them being ‘really good friends’, Nami couldn’t take it. It was too painful to listen to; after all, those looks, smiles, casual hugs, brief kisses, and general intimacy was anything _but_ ‘really good friends.’

Drastic measures had to be taken.

And so, with Sanji’s cooperation, she finally decided it was time she sat their captain down for a strict talk. Gesturing for Sanji to go ahead, the cook bowed deeply to her before he grabbed a plate full of sandwiches and opened the door to the kitchen.

“Hey, Luffy! Afternoon snacks!” Sanji shouted and, as expected, the reaction was immediate.

A loud shout of “Food!” came and, only a second later, Luffy’s hands appeared out of nowhere to propel the always hungry pirate inside the kitchen at an impossible speed. Sanji barely had the time to get out of the way.

“Hey, Sanji! What about us?” Usopp asked with annoyance, when he appeared in the doorway right behind Luffy along with Chopper, who was furiously nodding along from where he was hanging onto the sniper’s shoulder.

Standing right in front of the door to block their entry, Nami looked at them with that cold business smile that she knew terrified the rest of the crew. “You can come get yours later, okay? Or maybe if you pay me a hundred thousand Beri, I’ll let you in now,” she sang innocently, holding out her hand in an expectant manner.

“Hu-hundred _—_ ” Chopper stuttered, looking like he was about to faint.

After he caught the reindeer at the last second, Usopp looked up at Nami with a confused frown. “Oi, Nami _—_ ”

“Everyone _—_ ” Robin called from her chair down on the deck and Nami couldn’t help but notice she already had her coffee and cake on the table next to her. Of course Sanji took care of her snack first _—_ “it looks like our navigator needs to talk to Luffy. Let’s just wait until they're done. Alright?” she finished with a sweet smile, gesturing for Usopp to come back down.

 _'Thank you,_ Robin,' Nami thought, giving the other woman a thumbs–up _._ Seriously, what would she do with this disaster of a crew without her there?

Nami resolutely shut the kitchen door in Usopp’s and Chopper’s faces as soon as their attention was on Robin. When she turned around, she noted that even the few moments that she wasn’t looking were enough for half the sandwiches Sanji was _still_ holding to disappear; it was a good thing she remembered to ask the cook to make enough food to last till dinner.

“Oh! It all looks so tasty!” Luffy complimented loudly when he settled into one of the chairs at the table. “There’s even rice balls! Sanji, which ones have meat in them?”

As he was putting the half empty sandwich plate on the table, Sanji paused to look at Luffy. Frowning slightly, he wondered, “When did _you_ get so passionate about rice balls?”

“Well, Torao likes them,” Luffy replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

Nami and Sanji exchanged a look. Seriously, this was getting ridiculous.

“Where are the others? They’re missing out on some really good stuff,” Luffy asked, already munching on one of the rice balls.

Finally sitting down right opposite of Luffy, Nami automatically thanked Sanji, who put an iced tea and a slice of cake in front of her, before she took a deep breath. "They’re coming later. Luffy, we need to talk."

She almost thought Luffy wouldn’t be able to tear his eyes away from Sanji who was putting the last plates on the table but when the cook sat down in the chair next to Nami, Luffy finally looked at her instead and, with a mouth full of food and a few grains of rice stuck to his face, responded, "What about? Is the log pose pointing somewhere weird?"

Nami almost snapped at him that even if it were, he'd be the last one she'd tell about it but she reminded herself they had a purpose here. She had to stay calm. For the sake of everyone involved and her own sanity. “No Luffy. It’s about Torao.”

Immediately, Luffy’s face turned serious. He swallowed everything in his mouth before he tilted his head to the side inquisitively. It took a few seconds for him to open his mouth to speak, “I’m not changing my mind about the alliance. We’re friends.” He almost sounded like a captain in that moment and Nami wanted to punch him. _This_ is when he chooses to be serious about something.

“It’s not the alliance. It’s way too late for that at this point anyway,” Sanji sighed, shaking his head at how oblivious Luffy was.

“Yes, yes. It’s the ‘friend’ part,” Nami continued, making air quotes with her hands.

Luffy frowned, reaching out to grab more food again. "But we _are_ friends," he repeated stubbornly, making Sanji snort while Nami let out a sharp breath.

"Listen Luffy. _We_ are your friends," she said in a stern voice, gesturing vaguely to herself, Sanji, and around the room to indicate the rest of the crew who was probably eavesdropping by the kitchen door. "What you have with him is different."

A large pout appeared on Luffy's face at her words before he let out a drawn out whine, "But why? You don't have to be jealous of Torao, you’re all still my crew. And you’re friends with him, too." He folded his arms on his chest as if he was scolding them and Nami had to face-palm.

This was going to be harder than she thought.

"We’re not jealous. And honestly, this is more for Law’s sake than anything," Sanji muttered as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it, the movements seeming almost automatic.

Nami sighed, resting her chin in the palm of her hand. “Yeah, I’m starting to feel really sorry for the guy.”

“Man, what are you even talking about?” Luffy asked, leaning back in his chair as he chewed on a bone and gave the two of them a confused stare.

“Okay,” Nami said in an effort to steel herself for what she had to say next, “Luffy, you like Torao, don’t you.” It wasn’t a question. She was telling him this and if he denied it, she was fully prepared to _actually_ punch him.

Luffy frowned. “Of course I do. I like all my friends.”

“No, Luffy.” Sanji shook his head before taking a long drag of his cigarette. “ _Like_ like. Like how you would worship Nami-san’s beauty and grace and _—_ ”

“Shut up,” Nami snapped, shoving Sanji’s face away from her. Great. Now she was annoyed with _this_ idiot, too. If he at least actually meant those words the same way as what she was trying to drill into Luffy’s oblivious head. But Sanji’s admiration of women was something completely different from _feelings._ She should have asked Zoro to do this with her instead.

Wait. Actually, nevermind. Now that she thought about it, Zoro would probably say something even more ridiculous than his stupid, women loving boyfriend. Like compare _love_ to a good swordfight or something even worse.

She rubbed the bridge of her nose to calm down as she spoke next. “What we’re _trying_ to say is; you _like him_ as in, you want to hold his hand, kiss him, spend time with him, hold him?”

Luffy hummed as he mulled over her words, then finally asked a moment later, “Isn’t that normal, though?”

Nami was getting dangerously close to just leaving Law to his fate. It wasn’t even her problem, why was she putting so much energy into this? She supposed it was the unbearable pain of second hand embarrassment she felt every time Luffy called Trafalgar Law his ‘friend’ while they made heart eyes at each other.

She really should have just stayed with Arlong.

“So, do you want to sit on _my_ lap? Hold _Usopp’s_ hand? Fall asleep while holding Cho _—_ holding _Franky?”_ she corrected herself herself at the last second. After all, which one of them _didn’t_ fall asleep while cuddling Chopper one or fifty times before?

Luffy closed his eyes and groaned, looking like he was in pain from thinking way too hard about what she was saying. From how deep the creases between his eyebrows were, Nami almost thought the idea of love was beyond his understanding. Then suddenly, while watching Luffy rock his body back and forth, it dawned on her. This oblivious idiot somehow managed to make it this far without ever even _considering_ anything remotely resembling a relationship. That’s why it was so hard for him to figure out. Maybe this was also why he wasn’t affected by the Pirate Empress’ devil fruit.

He simply never had a single romantic or sexual thought in his _life_ before he met Law.

That was… actually incredible, Nami had to admit. She would need to remember to congratulate Law next time.

Finally, Luffy looked at her again and slowly opened his mouth to speak, “No, I guess I don’t.”

“Good.” Nami nodded, a smile pulling her lips.

“Yeah, thank God. _That_ would have been weird,” Sanji laughed, pointing at Luffy with the hand that was still holding his cigarette. “You know what you have to do now.”

Luffy cocked his head to the side once more, that clueless expression of his back on his face.

Nami really, _really_ hoped they wouldn’t have to hold his hand like this the entire time him and Law were dating. She didn’t think she’d have it in her to not kill anyone if she had to give Luffy The Talk, too. She might have to leave that one to Chopper or hell, Law himself could get off his ass and do it. They were the doctors here after all.

With a frustrated groan, Nami pointed to the door out. “Ask him to be your actual boyfriend and take him out on a date somewhere where _we_ don’t have to watch you being all lovey-dovey.”

“Ah, I get it!” Luffy cried out, hitting the palm of his hand with his fist as the dots finally connected, running out the door only a split second later.

Nami stared blankly in the direction he left, blinking once, then twice, at the suddenness of it all. Before she could so much as open her mouth to ask Sanji what just happened, Luffy’s head _—_ and _only_ his head _—_ appeared in the doorway again.

“Thanks Nami, Sanji!”

And he was gone again.

“I wasn’t telling you to go do it right this second!” Nami called after him in a weak voice, but she was pretty sure Luffy wouldn’t hear her. Even if he did, it wasn’t like he would listen once he made up his mind.

Slumping on the table, Nami took a deep, tired breath. Trying to explain feelings was surprisingly exhausting.

“How did it go?” Robin’s voice came from the chair that Luffy had vacated a few moments earlier and Nami wasn’t even surprised.

She only chuckled lifelessly, retorting, “Don’t pretend you didn’t listen in.” She didn’t even look up as she spoke. Would it be okay if she just slept right here, on the table?

“I didn’t,” Robin huffed with amusement. “It didn’t feel necessary. Plus I was at an interesting part of the book.”

Finally sitting back up and resting her chin in the palm on her hand again, Nami sighed, “It went well, I guess, considering it was Luffy. Hopefully, now it won’t be so painfully awkward when Law’s around.”

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Robin said with a laugh, making Nami grin back.

Robin was right, as always. It would still be awkward watching them but at least they wouldn’t have to deal with Luffy thinking ‘boyfriend’ and ‘friend’ were the same thing.

Law owed her a drink.

Or two hundred thousand Beri. That worked, too.

“Alright, you eavesdropping people can come in now!”

* * *

Trafalgar Law stared quietly at the marine sitting tied up in front of him. They had caught the man spying on the Polar Tang after they had docked on this island and they had been questioning him since.

The man was stubborn and refused to say whether he let anyone know they were there but hey, so far Law only switched his hands and feet. These low ranking ones always talked once they saw their own lungs come out of their body. It wasn’t like Law ever killed them or even _really_ hurt them but his slightly demonized reputation really came in handy at times like this.

He was just wondering whether he was bored enough to cut off the marine’s fingers and stick them to his face or if he should just get this over with, when Penguin came up to him.

“Captain, Straw Hat’s calling,” he said, showing Law the ringing Den Den Mushi with its tiny straw hat.

Law clicked his tongue. “I don’t have the time for this right now.”

“Yet you’re still picking up?” Shachi asked immediately, eyeing his hand that was already on the receiver and not even bothering to muffle his snickering.

“Shut up,” he snapped at his giggling crew to little effect except for Bepo apologizing for absolutely no reason as he was the only one not laughing at him. Seriously, the Straw Hats were a bad influence on these people. They had been getting so damn cheeky with him since this alliance started.

Law was reluctant to admit the Straw Hats were a bad influence on _him_ as well.

In his defense, however, it really was impossible not to get swept up in Straw Hat’s pace and, despite his better judgement, Law couldn’t say he hated it. As frustrating as it was… being with Straw Hat was just so easy and he never felt lighter or happier than he was while simply spending time with him. And even if he had to deal with his crew teasing him for it, if that was the price to pay for this relationship, he would take it.

Although, he also had to confess that he was kind of glad that Straw Hat was too naive and pure to figure out they’d basically been dating for a while now. He was sure the idiot would just go around saying the most embarrassing shit without a second thought.

Closing his eyes momentarily in an effort to push his stupid crew’s comments on the blush that was definitely _not_ on his face out of his mind, Law finally picked up. “What is it, Straw Hat-ya? I’m in the middle of something here.”

“Torao!” Straw Hat said on the other end of the connection and he sounded so excited and happy from just hearing him answer that Law had to smile. He was seriously too cute. “Torao, where are you now?”

Law frowned, now slightly concerned. Was there something going on that he didn’t know about? Gripping the receiver a little tighter, he replied, “An island probably not too far from where you guys are now. Why?”

“Date! Let’s go on a date!” Straw Hat cried out, sounding so incredibly proud of himself.

He also said it loud enough for everyone inside the room to hear, if the cat calls, howls of laughter, and shouts of “Congrats, Captain!” and “Finally!” were anything to go by.

He took it back.

This price was way too high to pay.

* * *

_Mere 24 hours later, after the daily newspapers were delivered, three distinct screams could be heard around the world._


	2. Extra: 24 hours later

Former Fleet Admiral Sengoku almost spat his tea out when he saw the headline of the day’s newspaper. Glancing at Garp at the other side of the room, he wondered whether he should tell him or actively try to hide it from him but when Garp asked him whether that face meant that he was finally kicking the bucket, Sengoku decided there was really no reason to be nice to any one member of the Monkey family.

And so, without any warning, he started reading in monotone.

“Breaking news: Fifth Yonko and Ex-Shichibukai Dating. We have received some shocking news from an anonymous source. Was the alliance between Monkey D. Luffy and Trafalgar Law simply a ruse to cover up their relationship, or did passionate feelings develop in the heat of battle? When and where will be their first date? Find out more on page 3 and keep your eyes peeled as we bring you more news on this Supernova Power Couple.”

“They are _what?!”_ Garp all but screamed, running over to Sengoku to rip the newspaper out of his hands.

Sengoku only smirked as he watched Garp furiously turn the page to get to the full article, which covered the entirety of page 3, full with pictures of the pirates in question and of the anonymous marine who _had_ his eyes badly censored out but, curiously, he also had his nose where his right ear should be, a piece of something Sengoku could only assume was once a part of a chair instead of his nose, and he was pretty sure that body part below his neck _wasn’t_ a torso. Sengoku wondered whether it could have been more obvious how this poor man got his scandalous information.

“Luffy’s gonna get such a fist of love he won’t know what hit him,” Garp growled after he finished reading, shaking with rage. “And I’m gonna drag that tattooed crazy asshole to Impel Down and make sure he never comes out! He was supposed to be a marine not date some pirate freak who would drag him down the wrong path–”

Sengoku watched as his old friend paced around the office, ranting off one misguided thought after the other. After all, the former Fleet Admiral had a feeling it would be _Straw Hat_ who would be dragging Trafalgar along if anything; and even if, it wasn’t like the little Monkey could sink much lower anyway. Relationship with another pirate or not, if he announced he suddenly wanted to become a marine now, they would _still_ throw him straight to Impel Down’s sixth level.

But it was still funny watching Garp like this and he was sure it would be funny to follow the pirates’ love lives, too. At the very least, it would be more amusing then finding out which island they had turned on its head next. There shouldn’t be nearly as much mess to clean up after a date as there was after overthrowing a king or two, after all.

Munching on a rice cake and watching Garp rip the newspaper to little pieces, Sengoku silently thanked the little Monkey and Trafalgar for keeping his retirement interesting. The alliance was giving him entertainment enough already but now, between these newspaper articles and Garp’s reactions, he was sure there wouldn’t be one boring minute.

* * *

“Dadan, please calm down,” Makino tried helplessly but the bandit was inconsolable as she clutched the newspaper where Luffy’s face was smiling at them from next to the picture of one Trafalgar Law with the headline announcing their relationship.

Dadan only sobbed in response, her words barely understandable, “Bud- bud Magino! Ruffy ish shtill a baby! Dadin’ some ebil pirade–!”

Makino had to stifle her burst of giggles at the sight of the big, mean mountain bandit bawling at the idea of her adopted son _growing up._ “Dadan, please. Luffy is already almost 20 years old.”

“He’sh a baby, I shay!” Dadan shouted back just as a new wave of sobs overcame her.

Shaking her head as the woman mumbled to herself about innocent children who were too young for this and how evil and unfair this world was, Makino thought how mysterious mothers’ minds were. Their children getting hunted by the government with a bounty of 1.5 billion Beri was a source of pride, but getting a lover was the end of the world.

She had to wonder whether she’d be the same way once her little baby was old enough for love to be a concern. It was slightly worrisome.

* * *

Meanwhile, on a certain island somewhere along the Grand Line, Koala cursed Straw Hat Luffy to hell as she was desperately trying to stop a furious Sabo from boarding his little fire propelled boat and going off to murder his little brother’s boyfriend.

Her job just got so much harder and it was all those two pirates’ fault. Why couldn’t they keep it under wraps? Did they not realize they would incur the wrath of one stupidly overprotective older brother? What did she ever do to them to deserve this?

If at least Dragon would take it seriously and didn’t just laugh it off with “Let them enjoy themselves, it’s not my or your place to tell Luffy what to do.” Maybe then Sabo wouldn’t feel like he had to take care of the ‘problem’ with his own two hands.

Koala had a feeling she wouldn’t get two minutes of rest until the rest of time if this ‘power couple’ relationship lasted for much longer. She had to make sure to _thank_ them properly when they saw them next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not pictured: Shanks laughing his ass off at the article while congratulating Luffy on his catch & Cora-san crying crocodile tears because his son finally found someone who makes him as happy as he deserves.

**Author's Note:**

> I want to say this is the silliest, stupidest thing I've ever created, but I am proud to say I have written far worse things before. I hope it made you laugh a little :)
> 
> ~~I _might_ write about that date, which Law obviously agreed to on the spot, but ahh I've learned not to make promises about fics so we'll all see, I guess! xD~~


End file.
